“Surely God enjoins justice, kindness and the doing of good, to kith and kin; and He forbids all that is shameful, indecent, evil, rebellious and oppressive.” (Quran 16:90)
Pre-marital relationships (boy/girlfriends) are strictly Haram (forbidden) in Islam. For non permissible males to have a relationship with non permissible females is one of the major sins in today’s era.
Unfortunately we see this western influence spreading like an illness amongst the Muslim youth. As barriers of work and study have been relaxed by parents, as they would like to see their children prosper, it has brought its evils with it.
In today’s youth the most common of sins after missing prayers, disobeying parents, cheating and lying is harram relationships, freely mixing with opposite sex and pornography. All that starts from online media to the physical act of sins.
Allah Subhana Watala says:
“Tell them (O Muhammad): ‘My Lord has only forbidden indecent acts, whether open or hidden [Quran 7:33]
Looking at the Opposite Sex either in pictures, movies or in real
Allah says in Quran
“Tell believers to lower their gaze, and tell the believing women to lower their gaze.” (24:30,31)
The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has said that the eye that looks at a woman (non Mahram) or vice versa with intent of lust or a relationship is the eye that commits fornication (zina). In a Hadith he says
“The fornication of the two eyes is an evil glance. The fornication of the two ears is the obscene talk. The fornication of the tongue and hand is the touch and grasp. And the fornication of the two feet is the steps taken towards evil. The heart desires and longs and the private parts abide with or does contrary to it”. (Mishkat ul Masabih, Abu Dawood)
Looking at opposite gender with lust, either in pictures, images, at colleges or at work, watching pornography or other indecent acts either openly or in the privacy of the home or on the internet is also forbidden.
Allah Asks Us Not to Even Go Close to It
“Say to them (O Muhammad!) Édo not even draw near to things shameful–be they open or secret” [Quran 6:151]
Allah has mentioned this instruction along with shirk and murder which means that Allah considered shameful things like pornography among the major sins.
Allah knows best. He knows His creation. He knows that we are weak. Therefore, He likes us to stay away from shameful things.
Those who Propagate Shameful things among the Believers
“Verily those who love that indecency should spread among the believers deserve a painful chastisement in the world and in the Hereafter. Allah knows, but you do not know.” Quran 24:19
The words used in the verse (fahishatu) embrace all the various forms that might be used to spread shameful and lewd behavior though any means be it pictures, films, or internet.
Don’t follow Satan
At several places in the Quran, God warns us not to follow the steps of Satan: “He will incite you for shameful things (fuhsha) and encourage you to do universally accepted wrong things (al-munkar) Quran 24:21
Pornographic pictures and movies are haram (prohibited). Muslims should not watch, sell or make such movies.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said:
‘The eyes commit adultery, the tongue commits adultery, the hands commit adultery, the feet commit adultery and then the private parts confirm it or deny it.” (Reported by Ahmad Ibn Hanbal)
watching pornographic movies, listening to such songs or singing them, using one’s hands and feet for this purpose, all these are sins that are related to Zina and then the final act of Zina takes place through haram intercourse.”
Logging in and browsing pornographic sites is forbidden because a Muslim is always commanded to lower his/her gaze, let alone give a loose rein to his/her eyes to look at the private parts of others.
Islam does not allow any illicit relationship between a man and a woman. Allaah has established marriage as the legitimate means for satisfying sexual desire, and through marriage a man and woman form a family based on the laws of Allaah, and their children are legitimate. In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. To have a boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter the level of interaction and involvement, is completely haraam!
Contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled with evidence which indicates that it is essential to beware of falling into the traps of the shaytaan in this matter. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said:
“I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible. Love has to do with the heart, and it may appear in a person’s heart for reasons known or unknown. But if it is because of mixing or looking or haraam conversations, then it is also haraam. If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly or if the man contacts woman directly, this is may leads to fitnah (temptation).
Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh
The permissible ways to get the one whom you loves are sufficient i.e contact the wali or the gaurdian of the person whom you desire to marry, there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.
Beware of Satan Stay away from Fitnah
Shaytan makes this sin seem attractive and beautitufl to you, but in fact it’s a great sin that is the doorway to Zina (fornication) and the anger and punishment of Allah.Allah Azza wa Jal says:
“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al-Fahsha’ [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allaah purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower” [al-Noor 24:21]
Prophet Muhmmad Peace be upon him said:
“I have not left behind any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5096; Muslim, 2740]
This hadith doesn’t mean woman it self is a fitnah, rather it says the temptations, the lust and the harram love for woman is the greatest fear of falling in sin for the Ummah.
Freely mixing with man and woman always ends up in Fitnah.
O Muslimah guard your modesty and chastity
That’s why Islam orders woman to cover up herself and guard her modesty for being protected by molestation, Hijab is nothing but a symbol of piety and chastity, It’s a dress that cover up female’s body including her hairs (Hijab) and face also (Niqab).
“O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed…” (Qur’an 33:59)
“And do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…” [al-Ahzaab:32]
“And not to show off their adornment” [al-Noor 24:31]
Thus Displaying of beauty in any way is discouraged and forbidden by Allah Subhana Wa’taala!
O’ Muslim lower your gaze
Allah Subhan Wa’tala says:
“Tell the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make far greater purity for them; And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And tell the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” (Quran 24:30-31).
Seek Refuge of Allah from satan the curse one! May Allah protect us from evil and evil deeds. Ameen