Why should you, a young Muslim, be helping to bring your friends closer to Allâh?
After all, you’ve got your own struggles to deal with: trying to explain to hostile teachers why you pray, Hijab discrimination, standing up in class when the professor attacks Islâm, dealing with parents who think you’ve gone nuts because you’re growing a beard, or all the other difficulties faced by a number of practicing Muslim youth?
Islâm was never meant to be an individualistic faith, reserved for the “chosen few”. Muslims have a duty to spread the Deen; and practicing Muslim youth, whether beginners, activists or leaders, have a crucial role to play.
“Allâh has put them in a position that perhaps no one else is in,” notes Sheema Khan, former Muslim Youth of North America (MYNA) advisor for eastern Canada.
“They have the means to communicate with their peers, they have an understanding of what they’re going through plus they have the guidance of Islâm.”
Who is your childhood friend going to listen to? Who is your childhood friend, who would rather spend Fridays at MacDonald’s than the Masjid, or your classmate who is Muslim in name and only knows that “Muslims don’t eat pork” going to listen to: the nice Imam of the Masjid who would freak out if he saw the way they were dressed and talked or you who may have grown up with them, joked with them, or see them everyday in school?
The answer is obvious: You.
Don’t panic. Here are some tips and advice which can help. These are advices from other Muslims, many of whom have been there and done that:
Tip # 1 : Make Your Intention Sincere
All work we do should ideally be for the sake of Allâh. That includes the task of bringing someone closer to Allâh. That of course means this should not be connected to arrogance, thinking you’re the teacher and everyone else should be lucky you’ve embarked on a crusade to save them. Guidance is from Allâh. Make Dua and make sincere efforts and remember Allâh.
Tip # 2 : Practice What You Preach
Not practicing what you preach is wrong and you will lose the confidence of anyone, young or old, once they figure you out. Don’t do it.
Tip # 3 : Use The Qur’ân, Seerah of the Prophet and Ahlulbait (peace be upon them)
As TABLIGH Guides Read and understand those chapters of the Qur’ân which talk about how the Prophets presented the message of Islâm to their people. Read the Seerah to see especially how the Prophet Muhammad and Ahlulbait peace and blessings be upon them) brought Islâm to so many different people, including young people.
As well, talk to Tabligh workers, and check out manuals they may have written, like Yahiya Emerick’s How to Tell Others About Islâm.
Tip # 4 : Talk To People As If You Really Don’t Know Them
Don’t assume you know someone just by looking at them. You don’t know that the Muslim girl in your homeroom who walks through the school’s hallways as if they were fashion show catwalks, is not someone you can talk to about Allâh because she looks like a snob. Or that the Muslim guy who you’ve never seen at Juma at your university is a “bad Muslim”. Maybe he was never really taught Islâm and has no idea what importance Friday prayers have in Islâm, especially for Muslim men.
Tip # 5 : Smile
Did you know the Prophet was big on smiling? But many “practicing” Muslims seem to have “their faces on upside down” as one speaker once said-frowning and serious. Smiling, being polite and kind are all part of the manners of the Prophet, which we must exercise in our daily lives. If we want to approach others with Islâm, we have to make ourselves approachable. Smiling is key to this.
But note that being approachable does not mean being flirtations with the other gender. There are Islâmic rules for how men and women should deal with each other which have to be respected. Tabligh is no excuse to have long and private conversations and meetings with the other sex, for example. Set up a system where someone expressing an interest in Islâm is referred to someone of the same sex.
Tip # 6 : Take The Initiative & Hang Out With Them
Take the first step and invite someone you may have spoken to a couple of times to sit at lunch together, to check out a hockey game or invite them over for Iftaar in Ramadan.
Also, share difficulties, sorrows and frustrations. Help with homework, be a shoulder to cry on when depression hits, or just plain listen when your friend is upset, discuss common problems and KEEP THEIR SECRETS. There are few things as annoying as a snitch and backstabber. But an important note: if the problem is of a serious nature, (i.e. your friend is thinking of committing suicide or is taking drugs), notify and consult an adult immediately.
Tip # 7 : Show Them Islâm Is Relevant Today, Right Here, Right Now
Young people may think Islâm is too “old fashioned” and not in tune with the modern age.
Prove this wrong. Show how Islâm is really about relating to Allâh, which any human being can do, anywhere, anytime. Allâh is always closer to you than your jugular vein and He hears and knows everything. Encourage friends to ask Allâh’s help during tests, exams, and in dealing with problems at home with parents and siblings. Also point out how Islâm relates to teenagers: Islâm gives you focus and an understanding of who you are and where you are going, which most of “teen culture” does not.
Tip # 8 : Get Them Involved In Volunteer Work With You
If you are already involved in the community, get your friend to help out. Ask them to make a flyer for one of your youth group’s events or brainstorm for ideas about activities to hold this school year. This involvement makes them feel part of the Muslim community and deepens your friendship, since you are now working together on something beneficial for both of you. Make sure you thank them for their contribution.
Tip # 9 : Ask Them 4 Fundamental Questions
As your friendship develops, you will notice the topics you discuss may become more serious. You may be discussing, for instance, future goals and plans. We recommends four questions to ask that can steer the topic to Allâh and Islâm:
a. Where am I going in life and what would make me really happy deep down inside?
b. What do I believe?
c. Who should I be grateful to?
d. Did I get to where I am today without the help of anyone?
Tip # 10 : Emphasize Praying 5 Times A Day Before Any Other Aspect Of Islâm
A person’s main connection with Allâh, on a daily basis, is through the prayer five times a day. Don’t emphasize any other aspect of Islâm until your friend starts making a real effort to pray five times a day. Emphasize the direct connection one has with Allâh in prayer. If they are facing a problem, tell them to pray, and to ask Allâh for help in Salah and outside this time. When possible, make it a point to pray together during your “hang out time”. If your friend begins to pray, that is the first step to other aspects of Islâm like giving up swearing, treating parents with respect or dressing Islâmically.
Tip # 11 : Help Instill Confidence In Adults
Adults, like Bart Simpson’s dad Homer, are considered bumbling idiots in the eyes of “teen culture”. Your job as a young Muslim is to help turn the tables on this false and un-Islâmic belief. All you have to do is this: when a Muslim adult does something good (i.e. saving someone’s life, donating money to a worthy cause, the Imam gives a good speech, taking good care of his/her family) bring it up in the course of your conversations with your friend and praise the adult in question. Doing this regularly may not only change your friend’s perspective, but could lead to them seeing their own parents in a more respectful way.
Tip # 12 : Support Them Even When They Become More Practicing
Remember, just because a person starts practicing Islâm more regularly, this does not mean everything will be okay from this point onwards. There will still be hard times, difficulties. There may be times when your friend may have doubts about his or her new found practice of Islâm. Be there to reassure them.